Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Monday, June 29, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Do I Make A Good Father?
My cousin and her son, when he was about three to four years old, came to my office once and I played with him whilst my cousin talked with my boss, who was her boss previously. A colleague asked me whether that child was my son and when I replied, “no” he said he thought he was from the way I interacted with him. Are there specific ways how a dad interacts with his son?
Whilst walking past a kindergarten class, there was a noise. I jerked my head to the left and right to find the source of the noise and the whole class laughed. I can look at a child, make a face and the child will laugh. Maybe I got a “cartoon” face. Well not all children would laugh. Those that don’t will stare at me first and maybe wonder “what’s that freak up to?”
I seem to get along quite well with children. I seem to know what they are thinking. Does that make me childish and immature?
I think my cousins’ children like to talk and play with me. Why?
Maybe because my aim is to make them laugh. Children should be happy. I think they have been in a “serious mode” long enough when they are in school, with their teachers and parents that they need to switch off and just be silly, talking nonsense, stretching their imagination, thinking out of the box for a while. They know it is nonsense. Sometimes they say I am lying but I say I was just bluffing.
Maybe as my cousin said, I am not fierce enough. But I don’t really believe in being angry with children. Firm yes; angry no. Perhaps it is easy for me to say this as I see them at most once a week and therefore able to “tolerate” their “nonsense”.
Maybe I missed out on a lot of things when I was a child and knows what matters to a child.
Raising a child is not an easy task. Some say it is a life long process. You got to use different approaches at different stages of a child’s life. It is documented that a child will test and try to push the boundaries that his parents laid for him. It is also documented that a child will play one parent against the other to his advantage.
Does one just use the carrot or stick approach? A combination of both? How to have an effective balance?
Knowing how to make a child laugh and happy do not necessary mean I will be a good father. Will knowing and believing in some of philosophies on parenting (which I shared in my earlier posts) make me a good father? I don’t know and don’t think so. Knowing is one thing, being able to apply them effectively is another.
To those who had said that I would make a good father, I can only say, “thank you”.
Whilst walking past a kindergarten class, there was a noise. I jerked my head to the left and right to find the source of the noise and the whole class laughed. I can look at a child, make a face and the child will laugh. Maybe I got a “cartoon” face. Well not all children would laugh. Those that don’t will stare at me first and maybe wonder “what’s that freak up to?”
I seem to get along quite well with children. I seem to know what they are thinking. Does that make me childish and immature?
I think my cousins’ children like to talk and play with me. Why?
Maybe because my aim is to make them laugh. Children should be happy. I think they have been in a “serious mode” long enough when they are in school, with their teachers and parents that they need to switch off and just be silly, talking nonsense, stretching their imagination, thinking out of the box for a while. They know it is nonsense. Sometimes they say I am lying but I say I was just bluffing.
Maybe as my cousin said, I am not fierce enough. But I don’t really believe in being angry with children. Firm yes; angry no. Perhaps it is easy for me to say this as I see them at most once a week and therefore able to “tolerate” their “nonsense”.
Maybe I missed out on a lot of things when I was a child and knows what matters to a child.
Raising a child is not an easy task. Some say it is a life long process. You got to use different approaches at different stages of a child’s life. It is documented that a child will test and try to push the boundaries that his parents laid for him. It is also documented that a child will play one parent against the other to his advantage.
Does one just use the carrot or stick approach? A combination of both? How to have an effective balance?
Knowing how to make a child laugh and happy do not necessary mean I will be a good father. Will knowing and believing in some of philosophies on parenting (which I shared in my earlier posts) make me a good father? I don’t know and don’t think so. Knowing is one thing, being able to apply them effectively is another.
To those who had said that I would make a good father, I can only say, “thank you”.
Children Learn What They Live; Children Live What They Learn
Children learn what they live
Children live what they learn
Teach them the way to love in their hearts
They will find love in the world
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn,
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient,
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence,
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate,
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith,
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself,
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
he learns to find love in the world.
The above is taken from Les Crane Desiderata album which was originally released in 1971. The album consisted of poems narrated by Les Crane and set to music. The words in italics is the chorus and sung, whilst the rest are narrated.
Children Learn What They Live was a poem written by Dorothy Law Nolte. This and the title track, Desiderata have a great influence on me.
Children live what they learn
Teach them the way to love in their hearts
They will find love in the world
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn,
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient,
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence,
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate,
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith,
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself,
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
he learns to find love in the world.
The above is taken from Les Crane Desiderata album which was originally released in 1971. The album consisted of poems narrated by Les Crane and set to music. The words in italics is the chorus and sung, whilst the rest are narrated.
Children Learn What They Live was a poem written by Dorothy Law Nolte. This and the title track, Desiderata have a great influence on me.
Some Quotes on Children
"I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be"
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be"
- lyrics from the song "Greatest Love of All" by
Michael Masser and Linda Creed"
"Every child is born a genius."
- Richard Buckminster Fuller
"Life, love, and laughter - what priceless gifts to give our children."
- Phyllis Dryden
"Listen to the desires of your children. Encourage them and then give them the autonomy to make their own decision."
- Denis Waitley
"We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open."
- Harry Edwards
"Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children."
- Charles R. Swindoll
"Your children will see what you're all about by what you live rather than what you say."
- Wayne Dyer
"Don't throw away your friendship with your teenager over behavior that has no great moral significance. There will be plenty of real issues that require you to stand like a rock. Save your big guns for those crucial confrontations."
- Dr. James C. Dobson
"In the final analysis it is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings."
- Ann Landers
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