I Smell Very Nice Issit?

What irks me most is when I am in a queue and the person behind me stands very close to me. I can understand if there is a long queue and space is limited. Otherwise there is no need to be so close till I am able to hear or feel you breathing or feel you are moving or shifting your body weight from one leg to another. I think in all situations, at least a one-arm’s length distance between each one will be ideal. Nothing to do with the flu; nothing to do with body odor. Just don’t come too close!

There were instances when I moved one or two inches forward to increase the distance between me and the person behind me and the latter would also moved the same proportionate distance forward! Hello! I am moving AWAY FROM you!!

I don’t like to queue and take pains to avoid queues. But I have no choice but to queue once a week for non-personal banking purpose. So I get these annoyances quite frequently.

Like most Singaporeans, I am “too polite” to say anything to the provoker and just use my eyes and facial expressions to convey my displeasure. If I had Superman’s eyes, that person would certainly be vaporised.

Since most of them are clueless about body language they need to be told in no uncertain terms. The question then is how to tell them.

You can be very polite and say something like, “Sorry can you please don’t stand so close to me because I get very nervous when people do”, you know the its-not-your-fault-but-mine approach. Or be sarcastic and say, “Stand so close for what, I smell very nice issit?” Perhaps the angry approach: “You gay ah, stand so close!” Or fire off with “Why you keep coming so close? You think that will make the queue go faster? You think that will make those tellers work faster? If it does I would have stuck my body to the person in front of me! So back off! Come any nearer I swear to God I will jab you in your rib cage with my elbow.”

Which approach would you choose? Any suggestion? Let me know.